when ghosts
explode
they form tiny flecks
like silver rain
slips over the hills
and playground
of bones
embedded in my face
words are like bullets
jumping to their death
from the stomach
of a gun
all the shadows
under my bed
they go away
when the sunshine sings
when the rain arrives
they tuck themselves inside
empty places
where my organs should be
centuries too soon
my wounds
are delivering lectures
on where the heart's place should be
I may be too young
and envying birds for getting to fly free
but these plasticine puppets
have nothing on me
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Tell me, how old were you when you fell in love first?
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Comments
--
to the strangest life Ive ever known
You've been loving for a nice bit then
--
"Don't poison everything."
Saul Bellow.
--
to the strangest life Ive ever known
I think it was 3rd grade when I first fell in "love"...I had a crush on a boy, told a girl, and she told the entire class (including him.) Gotta love children eh?
Here's my take on it:
when ghosts explode
they form tiny flecks
like silver rain
slips over the hills
and playground of bones
embedded in my face
words are like bullets
jumping to their death
from the stomach of a gun
all the shadows
under my bed
they go away when the sunshine sings
when the rain arrives
they tuck themselves
inside empty places where my organs should be
centuries too soon
my wounds are delivering lectures
on where the heart's place should be
I may be too young
and envying birds for getting to fly free
but these plasticine puppets have nothing on me
I've corrected the rhythm on so many of your poems that I really need to stress this: you need to be extremely careful when placing line breaks. If you're really having trouble, try reading your poems out loud to get the idea of the rhythm you've created.
--
002110 Goto 013500
013500 Peek 16388, 236
013510 Poke 16389, 346
--
002110 Goto 013500
013500 Peek 16388, 236
013510 Poke 16389, 346
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